Don't worry . i won't fucking sms you even a bit
even if i'm fucking down and going to die or anything .
unless it's just a fucking thing that has really need
me to contact you , than i'll sms you , otherwise ,
i'll just fucking NOT sms you , you better stop
giving me attitude even though i'm not your friend anymore.
otherwise . you'll just find yourself in trouble once again .
along with your enemies .

Disrepute : And This Is How You Wanted It Huh ?

hmmm . what shall i post today , okay .

firstly .
Good luck to everyone that's taking the Chinese O Levels Paper
tomorrow . all the best to you guys ! ;D

Secondly .
I'm going to prove some people that after i've broke friendship
with somebody , i will not take back my words .

Thirdly ,
I'm going to live on , i'm not going to die or anything .
unless it's my illness which may cause my death . but anything else,
i would live on . ( Those that are angry about me about me not able
to NOT thinking about death , you should be happy and glad now )

Fourthly ,
life still need go on i guess. with or without her . though
it's very lonely here and there , i'll just try and get used
to it . afterall , i still got some friends , right ?

and Lastly ,
Thanks everyone , whom had really lectured the fuck out of me
and almost killed yourself through lecturing me . you all should
know that i'm stubborn . so yea . haha . that i couldn't change
huh ? thanks everyone . ;D

Disrepute : I've Lost You Through My Contradictions , And I Miss You

60th Post . seriously don't know what to post .
but what i know is , i'm very vexed and sad nowadays .
who can help ? not really anyone could . but than .
thanks to all those that gave me advises . it's a great
thing hmm .

Friends uh . losing them . literally . ;/
anyone willing to be my listening ear ? ):
i seriously need them . HAIS .

blazing_warrior@hotmail.com

anything just add me at msn bah . thanks .

Disrepute : When We Turn Our Pages , What I See Was Our Memories .

hmm . since you put it that way ,
i've just got a few things to say .

Firstly , when my mother insulted you ,
i DID scolded my mother just for you ,
you were present on that day . don't you
remember ?

Secondly , I know i'm emoish bastard and
whatever , but hey , who cares now ?

Thirdly . and my last words to you .

Let's Break Friendship

now , since we can't be trustworthy to
each another , why don't we just be strangers ?
isn't that the best solution for both you and me
now ? isn't that what you and me wanted in the
end ? To stead and to break . and you told
some people that I'M the one that broke with you ,
wtf ? i only mentioned break once . but i did
asked for patch after that , YOU are the one
who did that breaking part because of my promise
remember ?

The promise to never give up this relationship
unless i say so . i could only choose to love
you and love you more, but you , can choose to
love or leave me . it's that simple .

That's all . Since we can't be stead anymore ,
i just suggest that we break friendship .
be strangers .

You'll know someday why i chose this path that
i'm taking . heh . it's just my way of saying
thanks for all the things that you've did
for me when you're with me .

Being together with me , you'll just suffer .
you'll just be sad . all the time ,
i've noticed this . i've seen this .
all the posts you've written . it's all
about these bad memories we once had .
so yea . now with me as a stranger to you ,
you wouldn't want to even care about me .
which is a good thing because i might just drag
you down somehow or another . Love and Cherish
those around you like i used to tell you .
Love your family like i used to tell you too .
and your friends . i've got friends . but they're
just not that kind of friends you have .
heh . it's over le huh . 03-07-2007 .
what a memorable day. i'll never forget that .
sad it all came to an end on 13-04-2009 due to my
doings . time after time .

let's just say , people change , don't they ?
Next life bah . maybe .

Disrepute : This Life I Have , Is All About Forgotten Memories

okay . i'm going to do the following .
I'm Going to quote SOME sentences from lini's blog .
The following replies i'm going to say , all are true .

Quote: "You can hate with all you want, i don't mind."

Ans :I don't hate you , as a matter of fact , i still miss you.

Quote: "You might think that I'm selfish , or whatever."

Ans :I don't think that you're Selfish , because i made you
think this way . i CHANGED you .

Quote"threatening me that you are not going to eat, dying ,
emo and ur nonsense like suicide.it's not going to help."

Ans : You know why i did all these ? because i wanted you to
pay more attention to me . you always sms-ed other
boys when i was with you together , ALWAYS .
never fail man . can't stop even a while to pei me .
people sms me , i just ignore right ? but you , you
didn't . you must sms them first before pei me .

Quote: "being with your friends is better.
w/o me ur life is happier."

Ans : Yea right , without you in my life , i'm like so
fucking lonely can ? i don't use to emo at nights,
going out find friends to share my woes and pains .
but . with you , i'm always happy . looking forward to
see you again . but now . i'm just too afraid to even
face you , i just try to avoid you time after time .
because i really don't know how to face you anymore .

Quote: "Is you nvr treasure it.& i never said that break le ,
cant be friends."

Ans : Yes i know i didn't treasure it . BUT i never said
anything about not being friends after we break .
i just said that we're like strangers , that's all .

Quote: "You want me to talk to you, den why cant u talk to
me in the first place? Is dere a need for me
to start everything? break oso i sae ,
patch oso i sae, now talk oso i start.
U're really brilliant."

Ans : Because Like i said , i don't know how to even face
you at all . that's why i didn't talk to you in
the first place , i didn't do anything about it .
but deep inside my heart , i know i'm useless
i have no guts . i know it all man . i cry
for endless nights . for who . for what ?
it's for those memories we once shared .
but it's already over . i can't bring it back .
so why even bother to talk to you ?
Just forget me . i'm not even fucking WORTH
to even be your friend . i'm just a
DISAPPOINTMENT .

Quote : "Even some ppl, calls me up, telling me about you."

Ans : People also tell me about you sometimes .
Everyone kept telling me to let go of you .
saying that it's all already over and stuffs .
but i always tell them , i couldn't let go .
because those are the only memories i have
that really can make me happy .

Quote : "But all i can say, we are not meant to be together."

Ans : Maybe you're right about this .
But still , i can't let go of you ,

Quote : "Think and see, look back, patch and break
how many time le."

Ans : I'm glad you know that we patched and broke up a lot
of times . but WHAT IS THAT CAUSE ? Isn't it always
the friends around us ? remember ? on our monthly
anniversaries . WE ALWAYS END UP QUARRELING .
WHY ? BECAUSE OF FRIENDS . you understand ?

Quote : "it's obvious that you're saying about me.
Being with me, is a torture, yes i know.
i can see"

Ans : You know why did i even said that ?
Firstly , Your Sensitivity got the better of you .
Secondly , Jealousy comes into the picture
Thirdly , You'll just react harshly .
Fourthly , You get into trouble ,
Who helped you in the end ? think about it .

That's all for my answers to all your quotations .
it's all about MY true feelings . you don't like it ?
i don't know what to say liao . just leave my blog bah .

Disrepute : A Lonely Life Leaded By A Lonely Boy .

hmm . i've finally gotten the pictures
on the esplanade emo trip ! 20-05-09 .

here are them !


Charles sneaking Up on me ? o.o


WOO . end up in A PASSIONATE KISS . LOL



EHH EHH . you never take photo of me ? xD *Cuts Into Picture*



Me <<<<
Charles >>>> xD


Woah . two pai kia sia . xD

okay bah . that's the end of the pictures . ;p
hmmm . thanks guys . for cheering me up time after time .
won't be able to forget you guys . certainly . ;D

Hmm . let's just post a summarised post .
nowadays , i'm SO BORED AT HOME .
stupid maple . keep give me this error .

" Connection failed due to system error , "
please try again later

okay . hmm . this banner of the new patcher is nice .



And last but not least , i've met up with my friends
and we went to take neoprint ! xD
And i met a new friend ! . isn't that great ?


LOOKY LOOKY , ! ;D

haha . anyways . life's great . but still ,
there's this empty part in my heart , wanting
her to be back there . hais . it's impossible though
because i've already said i wouldn't want a stead
for the reason is ,

Stead to bring both parties closer .
and Break to bring both parties Apart .

i don't like this kind of relationship ,
stead liao so close , break liao like strangers .
so yea . hais . i know you think i hate you ,
but actually , i don't . i really don't .
i just don't know how to express myself ,
how to show you care and concern ,
but , now , you don't even need my care/concern ,
you have that new boyfriend of yours .
wish you both happy and last bah .

so maybe it's lonely life for me . hais .
alrights . straight forward i shall go .
towards death i'm walking into .

Are We Friends , Or Strangers ?

Disrepute , Signing out . ;p

Maybe school's not the problem .
Maybe i was that problem .
not trying to pay attention to lessons .
sleeping through lessons .
don't understand anything don't ask .

heh . that's what lead to my marks right now huh ? .
Regret also no use now . ;D
my future has already been ruined by my actions .
quitting school ?
or
Continue School ?

Thanks to all those who at least even bothered about
my life . a big thanks to you .

Disrepute: I'm such a disappointment .

As expected from my attitude towards studies .

just to let you know guys ,
i've failed EVERY subject you can think of .
i Failed EVERYTHING .
English , Chinese , Chemistry . ALL .
heh . i'm quitting school lerhs . ;D
so yea . MORE lonely now . ;/

alrights . waiting till i can officially
Quit School .

haha . today at least not such a lonely day .
today chocolate came to my area here pei me .
than . we together talk about things here
and there . than slack together and stuffs .
than , at night ,

i went to emo outside . than thought of charles
and the group i used to go with .
than i called charles to ask where are they and
whether can i slack with them because i'm alone D:
than ya . went to City Hall met with marcus ( maple bro )
than , we waited for charles , ru yan and guo sheng .
it was like SO long can . ;/ anyways ,
we're like . hmmm . went to esplanade slack . and talk
about our relationship problems and some other
problems we experiencing . and , we also took some photos .

i'm sorry that i don't have the photos now . xD
but than , i'll be uploading them soon ! :D
anyways . thanks guys . i'm sorry that i've been causing
some troubles with you guys some time ago . keep pestering
you guys to help me and pei me .
but anyways . you're all my good friends ! i acknowledge :D
haha . so yea . though it's sad , but yet i still have friends.

but... there's still this part of me ,
wanting to be loved . but yet . heh . i don't think i'll
be able to get loved by anyone bah . D:

To stead in the beginning to prove how close we are .
but to know how far we can drift apart when we break .
is that what you people out there mean by break up ?.

can't we even be friends once again ? .

heh . i don't even want a stead now . because of this .
To Stead With Someone To Prove Our Closeness .
But To Find out We're Strangers When We Break .

heh . lonely days for me huh . alrights .

Too Easy To Say .
But Yet So Hard To Do It .

A Broken Heart , A Shattered Memory .
My Days Are Numbered . So It Seems Like.
I'm Living In A Dead World .
Full Of Strangers .
No One Cared .
No One Loves Me .
I'm Not Loved .

heh .

51st Post le huh .
hmm . let's just say . i'm emo nowadays .
i don't know what's getting into me .
i'm just lonely , that's what i know .
anyways . thanks Chocolate for pei-ing me
all these while and helping me get through
all these difficulties . haha . <3

hmm . The Story Ends Here .

Hais . End Of A Story , Beginning Of A New Chapter ?
sheesh . who would love this kind of person like me ?
i'm so fucking ugly and short can ?
strong also no use right .
i'm not handsome , i'm not tall .
you all don't want accept who i am , than don't .
because people like you whom doesn't accept people
for who they are , are just simply bastards who would
never grow up in life . THESE BASTARDS ARE IMMATURE .

Today . Chemistry paper and E-maths paper 2 .
Screw that . almost all the paper's difficult .
i swear i'm going to flung my Mid-Year .
my overall results also flung .
if i flung this end of year exam ,
i can jolly well quit my fucking school now and stop
studying as studying is just fucking stressful.

_!_ that someone whom made me lost my gan jie .

_!_ that idiot that made my life so miserable now .

_!_ the school and the teachers along with it .

that's all . i'm going off .
Life sucks without her ? PUI .

Hey guys . i know you're just trying your best .
to patch me and her up .
But . this would just disappoint you .

I WILL NOT PATCH WITH HER .
so i've rejected you two times , so what ?
you ask how many times , i reject how many times ,
what can you do ? .

I want you forget me . so hard cans ?
and because of your attitude i lost someone whom
was once close to me .
i'm fucking vexed with this now , than you still so happy ?
i really hate your fucking attitude , seriously la ,
you want bite yourself , cut yourself , GO AHEAD LA .
LIKE I'M GONNA FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU .

Your life now , you want go hong , GO hong nia .
I DO NOT EVEN FUCKING CARE SIA .
so fuck off my life and leave me alone .

As for those friends of mine .
i know you meant well .
but seriously . she made me lose too many things ,
i've had it . That love is already fading .
it's pointless to force us to patch as it would just ,
lead to more saddness and quarrels . i don't like .
so . BREAK UP BEST LA .
NOW YOU GOT YOUR FREEDOM , CHOOSE YOUR STEAD WISELY .
because i wouldn't be there for you anymore .

Just A Few Words.

Fuck The Exams .

what to do ,
no one motivating me to study .
today , Social Studies paper and Maths paper .
BLANK .
maybe it's Normal Academic For Me . ^^
or even better , NO SCHOOl . ;D

Yea . had a guild outing On last friday . 8th May .
One of the photos of US . :D



In Position . ( Left To Right )

JJ , Bernard , Kenneth , Lini , Marcus , ME , Kerin
Not Included In Picture : KaiWai .

ps ah kaiwai . because the photo of you inside VERY blur . can't see
anything at all. so i posted that . xD psps ah .

Just 5 Words .
I Hate My Life Badly .

Hais . It's just . 5 more days till exams .
And Yet i've not even started studying .
this suck . i guess i'll be failing my MYE .

No Friends , No Motivation .
This is how standard my answer is .

Henglee signing out .

You've been great help . i know you want to help .
but . i'm just trying to do what you're saying .
i'm going to strive to those dreams i have .
I Wanted Everything In This World .
To Be Peaceful .
hope that's even possible .
the main objective i played back maple .
is because i wanted to settle every problems inside
not with revenge and etc. but with love . ;D okay .
( i don't know what to put so i put love . o.o )
ANYWAYS . main point is .
i wouldn't die so easy as i said .
unless my illness worsens or something .
than that i maybe really can't say anything . =.=
but . i really don't know how to face you now .
I'm sorry to have troubled you this much .
it's my fault that i've pulled you down into this.
I'm Just Terribly Sorry .

A Dream That's Impossible To Come True .
Because No One Cared And Bother .
I'll Just Be Lead Astray .
I'll Try My Very Best .
To Change Their Mindsets .
Though They're The Black Sheep In The Herd ,
I'll Make Them Become A White One .
With All My Might . To Benefit This World .
It's My Way . In Saying Thank You .

To All Those . Who Are Trying To Help Me .
Don't . Because I Want To Do This Alone .

Nights Guys .

Today , Swine Flu has made it's stand huh .
hope school would get cancelled soon . ;/
today . i felt sick lei . suddenly feel weird .
than after that i can't feel my arms and legs ,
it's like so numb . than my head ,ache like mad .
it's like my vision keep turning and turning .
almost vomitted. LUCKY never .

Hope it's swine flu barh . ;/

Goodbye all . post more later . at school computer
lab now . ;/ BORED .

1 year and 8 months . supposingly to be yesterday .
but sadly , we've been apart .
I've nothing to post really .
But I'll Summaries this .

" Everything That Goes Up , Must Come Down "

yea . everything in life , where you prosper ,
you will in the end, fall and be at square 1 .
that's what life is all about .

Signing Out .

A Hypocritcal Rogue